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Dear Diary (08/09/03): how to lose friends and alienate people

Published: Sunday, 24 Sep 2017 6:37 AM

Dear Diary, Mood: Exhausted It's my first day of high school. Here are some things I've already learned. I call it, "how to lose friends and alienate people." 1. wear abercrombie & fitch and claim it's ironic 2. wear headphones -- not earbuds -- and stare blankly at anyone who asks you a question 3. reroute all conversations to the lasting cultural impact of Clone High 4. ask acquaintances how their occupation fits within their plans to destroy the capitalist patriarchy 5. change your name to golem 6. change your name back to what it was before 7. delete your internet presence 8. start pickling ... not food, yourself 9. have a favourite Shoppers Drug Mart 10. always listen to masc4masc